Recovering From a Turkey Hangover

uuuuuuuuggh!!!

After spending the past four days eating, drinking, and minimally exercising, I am definitely feeling a bit hung over from Thanksgiving. While it’s great to meet up with family from out-of-town and eat seasonal foods and Thanksgiving treats, I’m glad it only comes around once a year. I think I drank more booze chocolate milk  in these 4 days than I did in the previous 6 months, which is a lot for this little guy.

So upon arriving at work today, I decided I needed to immediately start drinking copious amounts of water to stave off the dehydration I was feeling. The bad news is 6 hours later I still haven’t had to pee, and I’ve probably had about 3 litres of water, which means with all the sodium and simple carbs this weekend I’m going to be retaining as much water as the hoover dam after rainy season. When the flood gates finally open, it’s going to be a massacre!!!

So here’s some advice for anyone feeling hung over after a Thanksgiving feast.

1. Drink LOTS of water. Yes, it will make you retain water as every gram of stored carbohydrate needs to have 3 grams of water attached to make it soluble, and each gram of sodium needs roughly 5 grams of water to solulbize it, you’re going to retain a lot of water. Drinking will help your body regain its hydration and dilute the crap that you ate over the weekend, and when you finally are able to pee it out, you’ll wind up losing a lot of the stored crap you’ve been holding on to. Don’t drink coffee or tea or any other flavored stuff, just plain old-fashioned water. It’s good for you.

2. Work Out. Sweating will help get rid of a lot of the stored salts, and also move blood through your tissues to use up and pick up a lot of the stored stuff that normally wouldn’t get reached by sitting on your couch yelling at Brett Favre for throwing that stupid pass because he was distracted by some ornery voice mail to some skank.

By sweating more than George Dubya in a spelling bee, you’ll have a better chance of shedding that excess stored water weight and getting back to normal.

3: Eat Right. Get back on track, and today eat nothing but chicken breasts, veggies, and oatmeal. One day won’t hurt you, but it will help to get you back on track quickly.

All the weight you gained is pretty much just water weight, and if you take the time to get rid of it, it won’t stay for long. If you let it store in your body for an extended period, the carbs will turn into fat tissue, which becomes that much harder to get rid of, so work at it now or pay the price later. And by price I mean getting lots of training from me, and calling me all sorts of mean names that make me cry on the inside, and yell on the outside.