Thursday Randomness, Including my Travel Schedule

After spending yesterday teaching a few courses on Special Populations and exercise training, I’m feeling the effects today. I mean, as amazing of a speaker as I am, I get pretty tired trying to keep people’s attention while talking about diabetes, hypertension, cancer, and thyroid-adrenal-ovarian function all day long. Sexy times, I know.

For the weekend coming up, I’m planning to be a huge mass logging some serious couch miles while watching football, something I haven’t had a chance to do in a while. Apparently there’s a new type of tv called “high-definition” these days that make football games look so amazing you’ll want to take an upside down piss from happiness.

Including last weekend, I’m going to be making 4 trips on that gawdawful stretch of highway called the QE2, or as it’s commonly know as the “Canadian Autobahn” for different seminars in Calgary. The last trip I get to make is for a three-day freakin exam!!! The schedule for that weekend is going to be theory exam on Friday, Practical exam on Saturday, Practical exam 2 on Sunday, drop-kick random stranger Sunday afternoon out of pent-up aggression caused by test anxiety in lab setting, bust out of jail Sunday night, make epic trail back to Edmonton under the cover of an assumed name given to me from a crafty Mexican fellow named “Jesus,” who says he’s not that Jesus, and who calls me “Essay” for some reason, live a life on the lam from the fuzz beginning on Monday. When I prove too crafty for them, I’ll round it all off with a well-earned Ric Flair strut.

Yet another reason to not buy a Mercedes, you know, besides the $80,000 price tag, and the absolute lack of funds to purchase said cost vehicle:

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Chicks don’t like Mercedes horns.