Progressive Warmups for Unbelievably Cold Days

Now I know it can tend to get cold living here in Edmonton, but sweet sufferin succotash, fifty below freezing!?!!? It’s so cold that my nipples are in a permanent diamond-cutter state, which means buying shirts is becoming expensive when they have to be made out of adamantium. It’s so cold that when Elmer Fudd comes to town, no one notices the stutter because everyone else is shivering right along side him. It’s so cold people have randomly started Tebowing just to conserve body heat.

When the weather turns as crap-tastic outside as it has recently, I try to get my clients to do a little more of an involved warmup than usual, which means we usually spend a few extra minutes on a piece of cardio equipment just trying to get blood moving and tissues getting some additional oxygen. As much as I’m a fan of active mobility, when the temperature dips a smidgeon below sweet holy mother of God shut the window!!!, people need a little more time and prep work before jumping into big joint ranges of motion.

Sure, I could be a giant dingus and not take into consideration the fact that cold weather makes people’s joints move and sound like my pile of crap car when I first turn the key, but that wouldn’t be very much like me now would it? I mean, it takes a little while for someone to be able to throw down something like this, and getting to it right off the start is a sure-fire way to blow out a sphincter.

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I mean it’s COOOOLD out there, folks!! It’s so cold Bruce Jenner even looks frozen. Oh, wait, it’s not because of the weather. Ummm, yeah.

 So when ever someone comes in to train during cold weather, they typically will start off on some general aerobic work to get the blood flowing through shorter ranges of motion, then progress into either foam rolling, active mobility work, or both, in order to increase their working range of motion during their workouts, and then into specific metabolic conditioning work (energy system dependant for their goal set), and then into some heavier strength work before finishing off with a “hate your face” finisher that may or may not result in them wanting to throw medicine balls at my body.

Let’s go through a typical workout for one of my early morning clients yesterday. At 6am and -28 celsius (about -19 farenheit to the Yankees in the audience), my guy was moving more like Tinman than anything resembling normal. We started with a progressive 4 minutes on the treadmill, beginning at 6.0 miles per hour, and moving up by 0.5 mph each minute. From there, we hit up some light foam rolling on some trouble spots (IT band, left glute, right serratus& lat), and then progressed into some marching drills, track drills, and some 3-D lunge patterns. We finished the warmup with some quick feet, carioca challenge (see below) and some reactive speed work to get his heart pumping like crazy, and his joints moving to their full potential. Total time invested in the workout so far: 13 minutes.

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From here, his main goal was putting on some size, so the majority of the metabolic conditioning could be performed in the exercise circuits we would be going through. He hit 90% of his deadlift max for 4 (good day), banged out a few sets of 10 chin-ups (real good day), and even threw around barbell front squat cluster sets for 6 with 95% of his 1 rep max (really good day!!). By the end of the day, it was a productive workout, he made some great gains, and most importantly, he didn’t get hurt, pull a muscle, or feel like a bag of crushed assholes by the end of the workout.

Sure, I would love to live somewhere warm and sunny all the time, where a warmup could be considered driving the last 300 feet to the gym with the air conditioning off, but I live in one of the most northern metropolitan centres on earth. As such, I have to adapt to the seasons, which can change on a whim, meaning 30 degrees above in the summers, and 30 degrees below in the winters. The workouts have to change for the conditions just as much as they would if the individual walking through the doors was just sitting all day or if they had just finished up a pilates class and wanted a real workout

HEEEEY-OOOOOH!!!! That was nothing but net, baby!!!

It’s too bloody cold outside. The phrase “severe wind chill advisory” should never be uttered by anyone at any time anywhere. It’s so cold meth addicts are lighting up crack pipes just to stay warm. It’s so cold squirrels are throwing themselves into the electric fence in the park to get some heat. It’s so cold I watched a full hour’s coverage of the GOP candidates so I could get some hot air.