So after spending the past week in a blissful state of Las Vegas – induced heat and sleeping in, the missus and I return home to Edmonton……. TO A HEAT WAVE!! It’s not quite Vegas warm, but it’s above freezing and it means shirtless yard work time by yours truly.

In a completely unrelated note, three planes wound up crashing yesterday after being blinded by the light reflecting off my pastiness and becoming disoriented.

One thing we noticed in Vegas this time was a gawd-awful performance at Treasure Island of their big pirate ship display on the strip. I’m all for situational song and dance, but this was a whole new level of “I wanna rip my face off and run through traffic to escape” kind of terror from the display.

As the polar opposite to that little bit of shenanigan, we did a “couples retreat” at the Bellagio spa. Going in I was simply replaying the spa scene from Dumb and Dumber over and over in my head. Fast forward to around 1:30 to see what I’m talking about.

ARVE Error: id and provider shortcodes attributes are mandatory for old shortcodes. It is recommended to switch to new shortcodes that need only url

In case you’re wondering, Lindsay went with the blue suit to go with her eyes and I went for the orange because I’m pure FIRE!!

I wound up giving the person tearing up my feet workout and nutrition tips on how to get back to her pre-baby weight, and discovered that eating copious amounts of “Pirate Booty” may not be as good as it sounds. I’ve never heard of this stuff, but apparently she was a big fan.

Now typically my normal spa retreats involve chewing my fingernails down until bleeding, and then clipping my toenails to jagged sock-rippers while watching playoff hockey on the couch. This was a little bit different. As I spend the vast majority of my time on my feet, to say I had a few calluses built up would be an understatement, and I think I gave the poor girl rotator cuff tendinitis from grinding my crunchy bits down to the base layer.

Following all that we did a bunch of walking around the strip and trying to breathe throughout the smoke-jammed casinos, and each night we were asleep before midnight. We totally didn’t live up to the Las Vegas night life, but we still got in great workouts each day and left feeling confident in the fact that we didn’t wind up doing something stupid that we would have to repress until 30 years later when a psychiatrist was trying to help us figure out why we were wetting the bed and waking up in the garage, only to come to the realization that we wound up french-kissing a goat outside the MGM Grand.

On top of that, when telling a client that I would be going to Vegas, he said to put money on the LA Kings winning the cup. His logic was since they were a big long-shot, I could make a small wager and have the potential to win big. If they lost I wouldn’t be out much, but if they won I’d make a killing. I was happy to put down $50 at Cesar’s, while the thought of a low risk, high potential reward has a lot of merit, they were giving me a bit of a heart rhythm irregularity last night until the overtime goal. One down, three to go!!

Now that we’re back it seems like it’s summer. I love Summer. I love being able to bike to work, mow my lawn, hit the golf course and not have to shovel my back alley out to drive my car anywhere. Top it off with the fact that my flip flop game is off the hook and you have the recipe for more summer lovin than Danny Zucco and Sandy could shake a stick at. (Grease reference courtesy of Lindsay. Never seen it, never will).

That’s right, a reference to Grease and a story about going to a spa. I might as well hang my head in shame, and quickly eat a raw steak while tuning a carburetor to re-instate my man-card.

Now one thing that I have to start getting prepared for in the next few weeks is the Spinal Health and Core Training Seminar, featuring the likes of Tony Gentilcore, Rick Kaselj, Dr. Jeff Cubos, and yours truly. We’re hosting it in Edmonton on June 2-3, and will go through as many different points regarding spinal health and core training as possible without causing some sort of a rip in the space-time continuum. You should register to be in the audience and book your plane tickets to Edmonton now. We can set up a tent in the back yard, coat ourselves in mosquito repellent, cook some steaks, have some S’mores, and do squats til we puke. Good times.

The seminar is $295 until May 1st, and after that the price will go up to $395, so get on it quick while you can.

=====> CLICK HERE TO REGISTER AND HANG OUT WITH US <=====