My Females Warm Up With Your Max

I love my new camera. For the simple reason that it makes taking and uploading videos crazy easy. On top of that the pictures clear, there’s a mic port, and all sorts of cool things on it that make techies get a boner. On top of that, it makes it easier to show how awesome some of my clients are with their workout intensity and all-around bad-assery.

With that in mind, I have some pretty bad-ass clients. Sure, I train a lot of people with injuries and medical conditions and whatever the hell else may be holding them back, but I also have a lot of really gifted people who make the average gym-goer have to check their man card at the door. These are the people who routinely sweat, scream, groan, puke, and make crazy kinds of gains in their performance and results that the average Joe would shit a kidney trying to get.

Case in point: Diane. Also known as the hybrid. She qualified for the Boston marathon last year and has been working her tail off for the off-season to get ready to conquer the hills. Guaranteed there aren’t any other 56-year-old females in the world packing heat like Diane, and I think she gets hired out by De Beers in the off-season to cut diamonds on her biceps. No one can rock a pair of running shorts, sports bra and mesh tank top like Diane and get away with it, nor can they get the mad street cred like having an upside down Nike headband while running faster than traffic. If this workout series is any indication of what she’s gonna do in Boston, there may be another Revolution.

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To top it off, there’s nothing like having someone hit a new PR in deadlifting to make you feel all giddy and energized for the rest of the day. Case in point: Erin. Just for shits and giggles, she’s training to get hella strong, and yesterday she must have eaten an extra cup of Wheaties with a smiling picture of Sidney Crosby emblazoned on the package, because holy hell she got strong!! From gassing out at 185 two weeks ago, she goes and does this!!

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Erin’s about 5’10” – ish, so the fact that she pulled 50 pounds more than 2 weeks ago a loooong way up makes it even more impressive. Short people can lift heavy like it’s nothing, but us tall folk have to pull that much further to get from A to B. For this workout, it appears that Erin eats lightning and craps thunder, while most people will eat two all beef patties, cheese, lettuce, special sauce and crap out a Happy Meal. However, it wasn’t as smooth as grab the bar, pull the shit out of it, smile for the camera and wave to her adoring legions of fans. No no. There’s a blooper reel to go with this one. This was the attempt before the magic happened.

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There will soon be a video of Lindsay pulling some serious weights on here too, as well as anything else I think makes me or my clients look even more bad-ass.

As an added bonus for today, I took this picture in the gym today and have a simple question to ask everyone out there in reader-ville:

WHAT THE SHIT, MAN??!!!?!??

Dude was actually repping out stiff-legged deadlifts and with a rounded spine in the hack squat with his discs grinding away like rusty hinges. I took this picture as photographic evidence of misuse of the equipment in case he says he got injured and wants to sue. I’m pretty sure any judge out there would simply say “What the hell is wrong with you?? Don’t do stupid crap like that or you’ll get hurt!!” Rest assured I had a chat with this individual and told him if I ever saw that again, I would punch a kitten in the face in his honor. And believe me, you definitely don’t want that. He agreed, and slinked away without a response. No one likes punched kittens, they’re the LAST ones to get adopted out, so he knew what the score was.

To top it off, last night I finished off Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point, which turned out to be a pretty interesting book on how to make topics or products “viral,” or in the words of the author, become an epidemic.

It’s definitely worth a read, and I’m waiting to read Blink as well as What the Dog Saw in the near future. I was this close to making another Amazon purchase today, when I realised I had 4 other books in the queue waiting to be read. While this may have nothing to do with females lifting crazy amounts of weight, it’s still pretty cool.