Posted January 21, 2010

How Exercise Can Be Funny.

A few years ago I was training a client who was looking to gain some muscle and get stronger for hockey. I had him doing some heavy squats, and to help him out I was spotting him. Normally when someone is doing heavy lifting, it’s a good idea to do a “pre-game” in the bathroom before hand just in case the pressure from lifting heavy causes certain bodily functions to occur before you would normally like them to. I forgot to mention it to him. During his second set, I was spotting him from behind and on one very difficult rep I heard a ripping noise, which immediately caused him to drop the weight he was lifting forwards, get out of the squat rack and run to the change room saying he’d be back. 10 minutes later he came back wearing a back-up pair of shorts, looking pretty embarassed, and said “Okay, ready to keep going?!?” I didn’t spot him on squats ever again.

One client had a bad habit of trying to make eye contact at all times, even if it meant their own personal injury. It was also kind of creepy. I don’t think she meant it in any way or that she was enamored with me, but she was simply trying to make eye contact, or that was just her thing.I would ask her to look at her knee to make sure it wasn’t moving, she would look at me. I would remind her three times, she would look, then look back at me. It got to the point where I would try to mess with her, and walk around her a few different ways to see if she would turn her head like an owl. She would always find a way. One day I forgot this habit of hers while she was running on the treadmill. Many people don’t know this, but when you turn your head, you will also turn your shoulders and the rest of your body to square yourself up to your field of vision. She did this while running on the treadmill. Guess what happened? Yup, she bit it, but she got right back on the treadmill and kept running, while staring at me all the time.

One client trying to lose weight would come into the workout, and get nauseous and have to run to the bathroom about 20-30 minutes into each workout. After three of these such experiences, I asked him about why this was happening. I asked what he ate before coming into the gym, and he would routinely go to Humpty’s to have his “pre-workout meal,” consisting of essentially the entire left side of the menu. He couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t losing weight, while eating about 5000 calories in the one meal before his workout alone. Suffice it to say he didn’t last long.

I like to mess with people quite a bit. One of my clients was running on a treadmill, so I snuck up behind her and knelt down. After each step on the treadmill, I would slap the treadmill deck so it sounded like she was breaking the thing. After about five steps, she got freaked out and jumped off the main tread and looked around, only to see me crouched down behind her laughing my face off. That was until she decided to kick me in the shins. The bruise was worth it.

Remember, we are all here for the amusement of others, sometimes we just don’t realize it 🙂