Posted March 14, 2011

Did you Hear the Random Joke About that Guy??

He died. Get over it.

Hey, guess what I’m going to do this next weekend?? I’m going to head to

VEGAS!!!!!!

(Note, click play and just let the melody waft through your speakers as you read this. It will make this post way more epic than you could ever imagine!!)

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I’m heading down to the NSCA Personal Trainers conference to get some sun, some above-freezing temperatures, learn some new things, and be Lindsay’s walking wallet on her quest for a new pair of crazy expensive shoes for the wedding.

I said that if she got a good pair of old Dunks and put in the laces with the chrome tips and that would class the shit out of anything she wanted to wear, but she didn’t understand the gesture. Apparently there’s a designer that makes shoes that have a red sole, which is the big drawing point. I told her that I would put two coats of red on any pair of shoes she wants and charge her $500 for it and she would get a great deal (two coats, dammit!!!).

She only stared.

And judged.

As promised, I have made a donation to the Canadian Cancer Society in honor of all of you who purchased a copy of The Ultimate Cancer Survivors Guide in the month of February. The deal was any copy sold between the 22nd and the 28th would have $5 donated to the Canadian Cancer Society, and I’m happy to say I’ve made a donation of $100, so a big thank you to everyone who decided to get a copy, and hopefully it helps you out, or someone who is very close to you. It’s still available for the low cost of $37.

This week, I can say something to Lindsay that every man wishes they could say to their significant other and get away with it:

I WAS RIGHT!!!

Lindsay’s getting into the midst of her pre-season training for cycling ( I keep telling her to drive there, she’ll get wherever the hell she wants to go a lot faster. She again simply stares. And judges). Her coach has her doing a lot of sprint work as she has decided she wan’t to try some track cycling. Essentially, if she can see her lung projectile across the room in front of her due to the workout intensity, dial it back 1%, and carry on. As such, she’s been getting her nervous system beaten up, resulting in some reduced energy and other fun effects of over-reaching. Nothing against her training program or coach or anything, but it happens to all athletes who crank up the intensity. So after she spent about a week dragging her ass and eating everything in site due to her juiced up metabolism and need to recover, she hit the wall. Still wanting to put in some training, I had to put my size 13 down and tell her to chillax for a week. She decided to give it a try, and after three days of sleeping in and not training, lo and behold, she was actually feeling better again, and by the end of the week she was feeling 100%.

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That is correct everybody. I can now say that there is written, documented proof that at one point in my life while together with her…..

I WAS RIGHT

It may never happen again, but goddammit, I have one instance that proves that I am not completely incompetent, and that for a single solitary time in my life….

I WAS RIGHT

Men every where will slow-clap this instant in man-dom, as it dispells the myth that men cannot win a battle of wits or an argument of character against their better halves. This is a victory, not simply for me, but for every warm-blooded male out there who has known they were right about something but sweet holy hell they couldn’t use that information to win an argument, but now there is a precedent-setting case that every male out there can reference and use to their power so that one day they can say to their significant other…..

I WAS RIGHT

Looks like another night in the garage folks.

A good friend of mine emailed me a link to a site that turned out to be pretty cool. It has a bunch of historical books all about exercise from the turn of the 19th century. We’re talking Gene Sandow (the guy the Mr. Olympia trohpy is modeled after), Louis Cyr (the original strongman), and a bunch of other books, ranging from 1900 to 1980. This is a really cool collection, and let’s you get a glimpse of how the “sport” of health training has evolved over the last century, as well as what practices are completely obsolete, as well as the ones we’ve just rediscovered that were commonplace a hundred years ago. Click HERE to check it out.

Farts are funny. Case in point:

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For those who don’t know, Japan got hit with a huge earthquake and follow-up tsunami.

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This is a huge disaster, affecting millions in Japan, as well as those around the world. To give you an idea of how global this crisis is, flights across the world will be delayed or cancelled, nuclear reactors in Japan may melt down, which means coolant from other areas of the world will be diverted to prevent this, resulting in less power output from their own reactors, and countless trade routes will be cut off, or at the very least slowed down. Top this off with the millions either killed or wounded directly, and you have a major disaster akin to Hurricane Katrina. For those interested in donating to the American Red Cross relief efforts, click HERE for a direct link to their page. I get no compensation for anything donated, but we all live here together, and we should all help each other whenever the need arises.

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