Personal trainers are rarely the leading men in movies, which is kind of irksome to those of us who are constantly thinking we’re super heroes on a daily basis. I mean come on, at least we could be the quirky individual in a rom com once in a while, but alas, such is the life of a career strength coach. Our portrayal is commonly as a minor role, an extra, or as the ones responsible for getting the stars into the kind of shape that makes them hit the Hot 100 lists after the movies come out.

However, over time there have been some very memorable moments where personal trainers being portrayed more than lived up to their billings, and today I wanted to give homage to those who earned their stripes and represented well. I even broke it into 2 categories: pure movies and also television. So while we could do this in a countdown manner, I decided all trainers in film are equal and just broke down by mention who was who and why they were great.

Movies

 

White Goodman – Dodgeball

The movie that coined the term “GloboGym” also created the epitome of the Napoleon complex trainer. The constantly high energy and nefarious White was both impressive and skeezy at the same time, and that’s saying something from someone with that sick of a moustache and white leisure suit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PbaZSXuXk4

Honorary mention goes out to his number 2, Michel.

Chad Feldheimer – Burn After Reading

In probably one of the most GIFed roles of his life, Brad Pitt plays a dim-witted trainer in a black comedy full of awkward dancing, strained conversations about a Schwinn and getting shot in a closet.

Daniel Lugo & Paul Doyle – Pain & Gain

Sure, there’s a lot of drugs, shady business, and questionable decisions, but otherwise it’s pretty close to what a trainers life is like. It’s like saying all small businesses are exactly like Scarface. It’s still a cool movie to watch though.

Elmo – I Love You Man

In spite of the vocal issues, his heart was still in the right place. His spotting technique needs some work, but he’d still rarely ever let you crush your trachea with a bench press. Special props to Andy Samberg as his co-worker.

Jason – Knocked Up

This one was kind of an around the way one, as in the movie he wasn’t a trainer, but once he left the website business with the rest of the stoners, he decided to become a trainer. The protein shake was a dead giveaway.

Jason – So This is 40

I’m sensing a trend with Jason Segel’s characters. “So This is 40” was the follow up where he’s out of the group and doing better for himself, and now he’s a complete D-bag trainer hitting on the sister from “Knocked Up” and then shaved the facial hair. BodybyJason

Lochlyn Munroe – Night at the Roxbury

Always packing a protein bar or some type of pre-peri-post workout nutrition, he’s always willing to give you the hard love about your triceps, and can bust out some sweet dance moves in the club. You ever heard of the sprinkler? YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE SPRINKLER, BABY!!!!

Tony Perkis – Heavyweights

As a Disney prequel to White Goodman, Ben Stiller gets reallllly out there as a life coach and trainer, all while creeping out kids in droves at a fat camp in the 90s. Special points if you can see some future stars in early roles.

Micky – Rocky

Ah, the Mick. Who could forget the constant voice in Rocky’s ear telling him he was going to eat lightning and crap thunder? Sure, he was a boxing coach and not a personal trainer per se, but screw it it’s my post and I’ll showcase who I want.

Jules – What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Essentially as a blonde and somewhat less abrasive Jillian Michaels in a reality tv series, Cameron Diaz makes a role in stretchy short shorts seem to be okay. I’m sure the rest of the movie is filled with pregnancy and birthing moments, which is why I have dogs.

Trevor – Results

Actually, the entire movie is all about personal trainers, and was just released this year. Holla!!

Rodney – Bridesmaids

A cussin Terry Crews is always best for Bootcamp business. He can even smell the fat on you.

SPECIAL ULTRA BONUS FEATURE

Yoda – Star Wars

I don’t care who you are as a trainer and what stuff you’ve learned. You’ve undoubtedly never taught someone how to levitate rocks or pull a ship out of a swamp, or shown them their darker side and how to avoid it.

Television

Terry Crews – My Wife and Kids

The most highly satirized insane version of the trainer, plus some sick dance moves, and stupid stuff very likely to be seen in a common gym setting on rare occasion by trainers who don’t know.

The Mendelbaums – Seinfeld

MENDELBAUM!! MENDELBAUM!! MENDELBAUM!!

Randy Marsh – South Park

There was that one episode where he decided to train like Rocky and drank raw eggs. He wasn’t technically a trainer, but it was still damn funny.

I’m sure there’s other trainer characters out there that I didn’t mention. What roles were your favourites?